I had a first today... a whole afternoon (until 4pm) anyway, to do absolutely nothing. I took the opportunity to take a breath, and step back to look at where I am in life. [This sounds strange until I get the chance to explain how crazy busy and absorbed into the daily routine details I've had to be lately]

I'm now a new 23 year old, post college woman working and living at home for the summer. I'm working two jobs to pay for my plane ticket to South Africa in August and to build up some savings to pay for student loans when I graduate in December. Underneath the discomfort of going through these last few challenging months, I would never take the easy route and miss what I've been able to take away from them.

I truly understand what it feels like for someone to experience doubt in their faith- to hit the bottom- and the confusion, and sadness that goes with it when what they've held so dear is questioned.

In May I taught in a KC school where few sterotypes fit at all. There were so many positive things going on there- you really can't go by what you hear- experience it for yourself, and then make an opinion.

I've felt anger when I watched one of my wealthier classmates stick up her nose when we drove through a poor side of town. What makes people think they are any better than another person because they have nicer things? That really bothered me and opened my eyes to the rotteness of ignorant pride.

I got to experience what it feels like to be an extreme minority, to be stared at in crowds and wondering to myself about what kind of wrong judgements they're making about me. Then, to learn some of my own wrong judgements I had made about them.

Overall, my job at Freedom School has been a challenging uphill battle. Nothings come easy and I've had to learn to motivate myself to keep going. I've gotten to experience so many awesome instances with the kids- trouble makers turned teacher's pets and glares turned into hugs. It's taken lots of care and patience-- but it really is rewarding to see some good come out. [It's only been one week-- let's hope I can still say the same at week 6!]

I just realize how general, and corny this sounds, but really- with all the new, unknown, and challenging things that have been put on my plate, I have experienced and learned so much in a short amount of time. There's been a lot of frusteration, and some tears, but it makes me think I always want to keep challenging myself anyway.